‘Depression and Creativity’

Hello! My name is Daisy, I’m the second co-founder of The OP along with Elsie, and I just wanted to write something introducing myself! A little background information about me, I had an easy childhood but always struggled academically due to Dyslexia which sometimes held me back + I am very open about my feelings and the challenges I have faced. I started writing this article weeks after finishing my A levels, which was an extremely stressful time in my life. And I think this may also help young creatives my age who are facing the same struggles.

Depression and Creativity

As someone who always has new ideas for projects and things I want to create it was extremely worrying and upsetting when my creativity seems to vanish. I realized this was happening over a few months, starting in August 2017 and it took me a few months to link my feelings together.

With the support of my boyfriend at the time I managed to open up to my mum about my negative and on going feelings, going to the doctors the next day at the start of October. I was hoping for help and support with these feelings that were so unknown to me, instead I was offered tablets and to come back 3 months later. I thought, like I’d seen on TV and movies that these anti- depressants would transform me into the person I previously was and fill the currently dark world in my eyes with rainbows and self love, how wrong I was. I was told it would take a few weeks for my anti depressants to start working, so I gave myself 2 weeks to almost relax and try to be stress free, watching my favourite programs and eatings as I pleased. I couldn’t even look at doing art of anything creative which was a completely knew feeling for me. I sadly started to realise that these tablets were not going to be the easy fix I had first hoped for. They made the days more bearable, I was able to get some sleep and have hours of not feeling completely drained and useless.

I’ve always seen articles about artists and how their depression and unstable mental health allowed them to create their best work, Artists such as Tracey Emin, Amy Winehouse or Ian Curtis, who I admire greatly. But this wasn’t me, I felt I’d let myself down. Not that I ever wanted to be in a depressive state but if I created something out of it then at least it would have some advantage . My life from September till January wasn’t blissful. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t feel like doing anything. Any art I created angered me as I felt it was of a low and boring standard. I kept trying but wasn’t interested or inspired enough to really delve deep into my art.

Screen Shot 2018-08-06 at 17.25.25

I had no ideas, no creative flare, nothing. For the first time in my life I felt let down by the ideas that has previously bombarded my head. I thought that maybe it was never going to come back, that my education was ruined and finished.

Finally, from February 2018 my mental health started to improve, not miles or leaps but little bits like being able to sleep and deal with negative thoughts of my own work.

So I have learned a lot in this last year about depression and creativity and how to deal with both on a middle ground. It’s just learning to deal with it and not forcing creativity, this only makes you more frustrated, try and be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to figure stuff out. Being open to the changes and Kind to myself.

Looking back on this academic year, I feel very proud of myself for not giving in and giving myself time to learn what triggers me and my negative thoughts. I feel I have learned a hella lot about myself as a person in both my mental state and the strength I had to keep going as well as the creativity that flows through me.

This is not a happy ending, I am still a long way from being happy and feeling ‘normal’ or ‘myslef again’ but I know I had a period of being rock bottom and I have made it through. I am far from an expert, I am only 19! I am still unstable, having days I do nothing but cry, but these are now followed by days I enjoy with friends and family.

It just takes time!

DSC_7053

DSC_7035

DSC_7016


If you have any questions please email me at dnellherculson@gmail.com or message me on Instagram!

If you would like to feature on the orange peel or write an article please don’t hesitate to contact us!

Evie Chaplin

Today is Thursday the 19th of April, the hottest day of the year so far (its damn hot) and me and Evie have met up to talk about her work, brand and prospects for the future…

Q- What is your name, age and where are you based?

A- My name is Evie Chaplin, I’m 16 and I’m based in a little village in the middle of nowhere in Norfolk. Its tiny and Rubbish.

Q- Tell us what your creative practice/ art work is about?

A- I do a lot of visual arts ranging from photographic to print making and fashion, a lot of it is to do with the contemporary world and its effects on society and different groups of people. I focus a lot on the skating community  and contemporary fashion and how these groups can feel really closed and regressive when your in a conservative place like Norfolk. Lots of my work comes from myself feeling creatively restrained because I live here, I also like creating aggressive and slightly vulgar clothing, mostly to get reactions from people.

Q-What are the main themes/ subjects you explore in your work?

A- I do lots of self exploration work, I often feel like a big fish in a small pond– and I think a lot of people feel like that who are from small communities-like you’re trapped inside yourself and need to grow. Im also starting my own brand which I want to explore a lot more- Ive named it ‘Dead Heading’ which is the process of cutting dead parts off flowers so they can grow again, so its to do with cutting of the toxic parts of your own life so you can grow again- because everyone has certain people or feeling that hold them down and I think it would help society if everyone was a “Dead header” so that we can all grow and be ourself freely.

Q-Who are your inspirations?

A- The Bratz Dolls! (BRATZ DOLLS)  I think their fashion is great, I think what they stand for is brilliant! They came in at a time when Barbie was massive and she was an empowering image for feminism showing how women could do anything they wanted to, but Bratz came along and were so ahead of their time! They had a ‘fuck everyone, we can do what we want to‘ message about them and even the word Brat has negative connotations but they reclaimed it to be something so cool and empowering. Women can do what they want, and they can also do nothing which is fine too.

I also love an Artist call GIRLI, (  GIRLI , Feel OK MV) she dresses in all pink to represent female stereotypes but she’s so aggressive and has a great ‘fuck you’ attitude. Her music talks about the issues of being a women in the music industry and she’s a big role model for me and and other young girls. I like both male and female artists, I used to only listen to boys but have recently found lots of female artists I like and I think that reflective of a new age of women in music.

Q- What is individualism to you?

A- Its a very big part of my life, I love who I am and I think its brilliant to stand out but its also okay if you don’t want to stand out. People should do whatever makes them happy. You do you, and ill support that.

Q- Where can you see yourself in  5 years time?

A- Five years, so ill be 21… Hopefully in London, I think thats where I need to be if I want to pursue things and have more opportunities, hopefully my brand will kick off and ill be able to explore lots of things. Its a great umbrella for me to be able to explore anything, fashion, magazines, photography its a header for all of that. Ive been thinking about what I want to do for so long and couldn’t find anything so thought id start something self.

To see more of Evie’s work check out her Instagram accounts and Website:

@dead.headd  @deadheadinguk http://www.echapbusiness.wixsite.com/deadheading

Evie LR edits (3 of 9)
Self Portrait by Evie Chaplin
Evie LR edits (6 of 9)
Evie
Evie LR edits (1 of 9)
Final Piece: Chance